Habits of the Heart

I am so excited to talk to you about this today because this topic Habits of the Heart gives you an opportunity to work on you. Like many people around the world at the beginning of a New Year, I like to reflect on what happened the year before and I make goals I would like to work towards in the New Year. The beauty of self-growth and maturity is that you do not have to wait for January 1st to start making meaningful changes in your life. You can start today!

For me, Habits of the Heart are tangible and intangible things you do regularly to stay in tuned with who you are and what makes you happy. Habits of the Heart help to work towards self-improvement so that you can be your best self for you and the people you love. So let us jump right into talking about the tips.

Habits of the Heart Tip One:

Quiet Time: It is important to make time for quiet time for yourself every day. I do this by waking up at 4am. You do not have to wake that early but for me I can get up at this time and I can truly focus on what I need to do. For me that includes my personal Bible studies, writing and taking care of the general organization for the day. For you quiet time can look a bit different. You can make time to read, meditate, exercise, enjoy a hot cup of your choice beverage etc. The beauty of making quiet time for yourself is that the time is yours to do what you please. Prioritizing quiet time allows space for deep thought, relaxation and focus. Quiet time can be done at any point during the day. Set a timer if you must to sit and think or just breathe.

I remember being overwhelmed when we had toddlers because I was constantly touched out and I felt like I was drowning. I realize now that I was not making time for me to sit quietly. To be clear quiet time is something you do with intention and something you do alone. This is not an excuse for a girls’ weekend or a boys’ night out. Those events have their places but what I am getting at is intentionally giving yourself the time and space to sit and think every day.

When my children were younger, I used their nap time to do all the things I felt I needed to do like cleaning or cooking etc. While at the time I thought that was a good use of the time, it also meant that when they awoke I was even more tired than I was when they went to sleep. Therefore, instead of being recharged I was more drained than ever. If I were to do it again, I would divide the time and allow space for myself to decompress and recharge while they were napping. So what is the take away? Make quiet time for yourself. Carve out time for yourself.

Habits of the Heart Tip Two:

Maintaining a Positive Self-Outlook: Having a positive self-outlook is learning to value yourself. You have to value yourself even if you feel that no one else does. Take a step back from all your roles (as a parent, a coworker, a family member) etc. You have to step out of these roles for a bit and really look at yourself. Really, remind yourself that you matter, that you are special, that you are important, that you are strong, you are an asset and that you deserve to be happy. You have to do this with intention and you have to believe it so that you can live it.

I spent a great part of my life waiting for others to validate me as a person. I am a total people pleaser. I work hard to make sure the people around me are happy; too often to my own detriment. It took a long time for me to step back and remind myself that my feelings are important, that I too have a voice, that I can do hard things and to remind myself that I am a priority. I spent a long time going with the flow and just doing what I thought was expected of me. As I have grown and matured I am now understanding that by my actions I am showing people how to treat me and if I am not vocal about who I am and what I believe then whatever partnerships or relationships I am trying to build will eventually crumble.

I encourage you today to work on your self-outlook.  Some people do this by physically writing positive statements about themselves and placing them around their homes, others rely on positive affirmations card decks, others still use their mirrors to practice speaking aloud about themselves in a positive way. However you feel like you can accomplish this practice you should go for it. Before we can be our best self, we have to first love whom we are so let us start today. Say to yourself: I am amazing, I am important, I am a change maker, I am strong, I will not give up, I will do my best, I am an inspiration.

Habits of the Heart Tip Three:

Prioritizing Self: with this tip, you will focus on doing something for yourself as often as life would allow. Think hobbies with this one. If you like sewing, exercising, going for a hike, reading: whatever it is that you love doing for fun make time for this activity. If you can fit it in everyday wonderful. If not then schedule time in your life to make it happen. Remember you are a priority and so you must make time to do the things you enjoy.

I have learned as I continue to grow as a homemaker that too often things will be left undone if I neglect to schedule them. You are in control of your life so look at your day and see where you will be able to fit in the activities you enjoy doing for fun. Make time for you and your hobbies so that you can be your best self for the people you love.

Habits of the Heart Tip Four:

Practicing Gratitude: This tip is all about self-reflection and awareness. To show gratitude we have be cognizant of what the people around us are doing. Another way to say this is that we have to be mindful. Showing gratitude is being ready to say thank you; being ready to share joy and acts of kindness with others. Especially for those of us raising children, we have to remember we are their role models. They are watching us and they are learning how they should be treated and how they should treat others. If they see us expressing gratitude on a regular basis it will also become a common practice for them.

As with everything I share, this needs to be done with intention and with a genuine heart. We are imperfect and our children need to see us striving to better ourselves. When they see us apologizing, saying please and thank you often, doing for others what we want done for ourselves then they too with learn to freely express gratitude. Model the behaviors you want to see.

Habits of the Heart Tip Five:

Walking in your Purpose: This last tip is really a lifelong one so no matter where you are in life right now you can apply this tip and continue to work towards it. Walking in your purpose is tuning in to who you are destined to be. Walking in your purpose is really a combination of all the tips we have already discussed. It involves goal setting and further educating yourself so you can achieve those goals, making time to take care of yourself, prioritizing your needs, tapping into your strengths and talents so that you know what you bring to the world, it is about embracing who you are and allowing yourself to shine.

In our family my husband and I want our children to grow up knowing who they are before the world tells them who they ought to be. We are helping them to grow into who they are destined to be. We do this by filling their cups with positive affirmations and by giving them the space to live with intention while also practicing grace. In my own life, I am also taking these tips to heart. I am also setting personal goals and working towards being my true self. I do this because I know if I neglect to do them then I will to stumble as a wife and mother. Today make the promise to walk in your purpose.

Today, as you reflect on the things discussed I hope you can walk away having gained some inspiration. I hope you were encouraged by our topic: Habits of the Heart. Let us know in the comments if this is something that speaks to you.