De-schooling and Socialization

I would like to talk to you about two major things anyone in the homeschool space has to contend with. The first is the idea of de-schooling and the second is socialization. Both of these are hot topics so let’s just dive right in.

You might be wondering what de-schooling is so let me just jump right in and explain. As a society we have all been conditioned to believe that learning happens in abundance in a specific building, at a specific time and only under specific conditions. This is why when we see children in a grocery store at 10AM on a Wednesday our first thought is “Oh there’s no school today?” We are conditioned to believe that if certain conditions are not met then children will not thrive or learn.

The concept of de-schooling essentially is a de-programing of the mind. Homeschooling parents and children need a period of time to let go of the notion that learning has to happen in a traditional way for it to be effective. Especially if your children have gone to traditional schools there has to be a transitional period for them to let go of the norms and to relax. They need to re-imagine the idea of school and this is what happens in the de-schooling phase. Now if you’ve never sent your children to school or daycare etc. you will be creating norms for them as it relates to this area of their lives.

De-schooling is not to be confused with un-schooling. They sound quite similar but they are different concepts. De-schooling is a period of time in which children and caregivers allow themselves to de-program. This allows them to let go of the norms that are set in place by traditional school environments.

Un-schooling however is a method of homeschooling in which the caregivers choose. This is a style of learning and teaching delivery.  I will expand on this in a future post so stay tuned.

While a family is in the de-schooling phase, they should see this as a trial period because now you have switched roles and you are no longer the child’s caregiver you are also their “teacher”. Their home is also now the primary place where they will be educated. Seasoned homeschooling families already accept the blurred lines of this concept but for new families this is a critical time period. Families should take this trial period to get to know each other in the educational realm. Find out what types of activities excite your child’s curiosity, find out more about what time of day works best for their learning needs, give them plenty of time for unstructured free play. Go out of the house, visit parks, museums, libraries etc.

Insider Tip: Homeschooling families love visiting these locations during the “regular” school year because they are usually crowd free which is perfect for fluid learning.

Take this time to find and or build a homeschool community. Speak to your local librarians as they might have connections to groups nearby. Check all the social media platforms to find homeschool groups in your area. Many people are surprised to learn that there are a lot of other homeschooling families in their region. Reach out to them and start making connections. If you are not in a favorable locations for groups that already exist think about starting your own group.

During the de-schooling phase play together, build together, essentially use this time to really move away from the societal norms that learning has to look a certain way. Seasoned homeschoolers know that learning will sometimes happen early in the morning, late at night and even on the weekends. You have total flexibility so feel free to use your time the way you see fit.

The de-schooling phase is a critical time for both the children and the adults. Take the time to really soak in the experience and just live. If you have already decided on curriculum, take time to ease into it, give yourself and your children grace and space.The homeschooling journey is a very personal one and your homeschool does not have to and will not look exactly like another. Understand that it is a learning process for everyone involved but it can be done well if you put in the work.

This leads me to the second thing I wanted to share which is socialization. I honestly don’t want to give this too much light because I don’t understand why we even have to discuss this today's world. A big misconception about homeschooling is that children who are homeschooled are somehow inept or unprepared to survive in this world because they don’t know how to sit and be quiet in a classroom of their peers. Children will be children and there are all types of personalities in a classroom and it is no different with children who are homeschooled. If you are concerned that they will not be able to hold a conversation then you have not been around enough children who are homeschooled. Understand that while a large percentage of their peers are sitting in a classroom learning to color inside the lines, homeschooled children are out in the world engaging in real world situations on a daily basis. They are having interactions with people of all ages and this is one way in which they develop empathy. These experiences give them a broader scope of the world. They are making real world applications to what they are learning. They are truly getting a hands-on experience with the world they live in.

This is not a knock to any educational choice. Homeschooling is not right of every family. I truly believe you must make the choice that is right for you and your family and I place no judgements here either way. Just understand that homeschooling families can thrive in all areas of life including socialization.

Is socialization a factor in your decision to homeschool? Have you ever been asked about socialization from family, friends, or even strangers? How do you address this topic in your life? Tell me all about it in comments below.